The Last Girl Scout...

Been a while since I last wrote a blog and I figured why not pick a topic that is both relative to all of us and currently in our sights.   That's right.  I'm talking about girl scouts.  More importantly, the cookies these little ladies sell.  We all know them.  We've all had them.  Some more than others.   That's where I fall.  I'm the guy with no kids (that I'm aware of) who buys boxes and boxes of them.  I usually buy them from neighbors, friends or ladies I work with who sell them for their kids.   I'm told that it helps to raise funds for activities, the troops and other things.   I firmly believe this and I know the intentions are pure and true.  That is until I had this dream last night.  If the dream had a title, it would be "The Last Girl Scout" 

It was a foggy night and I was heading to Giant to buy deodorant.  I'd say it was maybe midnight or so.  As I walked to the entrance, there stood the girl scouts at their table which in the dream was more like a judge's bench.  I remember giving them a quick glance but kept walking.  That was probably because in this dream, I was wearing swimming trunks, flip flops and a turtleneck.  Maybe it was embarrassment or the temperature but I remember a quick glance and then darting to the door which of course was running from me while i ran towards it.   One girl scout who seemed much bigger and much too old to be in the girl scouts shouted at me.  It was garbled but sounded like "Be a man.  Buy some cookies.  Looks like you have been for years anyway."   I ignored her observations and reached the door.  The store was a haze and I remember buying milk, fruity pebbles, a toilet scrubber and D batteries.  When I come out, it's still dark and now it's raining.  The table full of girl scouts are gone but one remains.  The more mature and possibly mutant girl scout stood ominously in front of me.   She seemed larger than when i first entered the store.  This is when things took a nightmarish turn.

She loomed large and all I could think to do was run like a frightened jackrabbit.  I tried to run around her but her arm extended much like Inspector Gadget's and clotheslined me.   I hit the ground hard and my milk soiled my turtleneck which had now become a Member's only jacket.  I got up quickly and started running for what seemed like miles.   I am almost to my car when I am struck in the back of the head with a box of Samoas.  They weren't your normal weight of course.  In the dream, they resembled a brick.   The blow to the head took me off my feet and I ended up in a bush filled with butterscotch.   I could hear loud footsteps coming towards me and I could make out a large figure through the shrubs.  I could see her taking something off..perhaps her sash.   She started swinging it and it hit my bush and I flew into what must have been the unknown.  That is when I woke up. 

I have tried to collect the details all day.  That's what I came up with.  It's 100% true and I am hoping it makes you think about buying cookies when you see them outside of Giant, the Post Office or any establishment.  On the outside, they are the cute adorable kids supporting a cause.   On the inside, there is possibly a more sinister and darker agenda being performed.  I've seen it!  I saw it in her eyes last night!  It's pure evil and it's out there.   Just buy a box.   Samoas, Tag a longs, Thin Mints or even those new nasty ones.  Do it before she comes for you.   Don't make the Last Girl Scout become legend!