Moving Violations Part One

There are several things i'll write about over the lifetime of this blog.  Women, 80s movies, falconry, underwater basket weaving and naked midget thumbwrestling are a few examples.  The topic of the traffic could be a recurring theme and probably could have a blog of its own.  My fellow brother and I (Greg Law for those that didn't know we were twins) have talked about making a traffic documentary.  Something that would encapsulate the daily traffic annoyances of this greater DC, MD and VA area.  With the help of my cousin Wolf, we came up with some nicknames for certain types of driving behaviors.  For example, a "constipator" would be someone who waits until the last minute to merge in situations where two lanes are to become one thus constipating the flow of traffic.  For today's blog, I'll concentrate solely on the lost skill of using your turn signal.

The turn signal is located to the right of your steering wheel.  As you may or may not know, the steering wheel is used to steer the vehicle you are driving.  In some sheer moment of genius, automakers decided to create a turn signal light to indicate which direction a driver was going to turn.   Designed as early as 1907 and patented in 1938.  This signal or indicator as its often referred to as is also located extremely close to that steering wheel thing i mentioned earlier.  This also was by design so that you have almost no trouble sliding your hand down the steering wheel and pushing the plastic stem up or down depending on your direction.   Brilliant!  It allows you to let other drivers know where you're heading and you don't take your eyes off the road!  Sounds easy right?

IT'S NOT.   It's extremely difficult from what i'm seeing on the road and driving next to.  The difficulty is right up there with Calculus and juggling chainsaws.  Maybe they are on the phone and can't tear away from the intense discussion regarding the latest episode of Jersey Shore.  You know the one where Snooki sets her own hair on fire for attention and then eats a pickle in front of a high school football team?  Or maybe the booger they're picking takes two hands to get? Maybe I'm supposed to notice which hand they are using and that's their way of signaling a turn.  OR they think i can read their mind?!?  If I could read minds, I could have worked things out with about 12 of my ex girlfriends or would probably know what exactly was eating Gilbert Grape!      Whatever the case, the turn signal has become just another thing to hang tassles or air fresheners on.    I could go on and on but I won't.  That could take all night and there will be other parts to this ongoing series anyway.  So do me a favor.  Use your signal tomorrow.  At least once for me.  It could change your life or at least help you change lanes properly.  Orren out!